Don't Be Afraid of the Dark

 Have you ever been in a dark room and couldn’t find the light switch? Sometimes we are in familiar rooms and sometimes we are in strange rooms in the dark but usually our response is the same.  When we enter a dark room our first instinct is to find the light switch and turn it on so we can see clearly, avoid accident and find our way. I wonder why sometimes when we are in the dark in our lives we don’t immediately do the same thing.

I have been in dark rooms in my life. Some are distant memories and some are still vivid in my mind. Like a child in a dark room, I have sometimes let the fear take over. Instead of standing up, staying close to the wall and feeling my way toward where I know the light is; I have sat down in fear.  I have reached out for things to comfort me.  Being in the dark room I have often had a hard time seeing what I should be reaching for; what is real and what is helpful.  I have spent lots of time grappling, flailing around, bumping into things, and bruising myself.  Reaching out for help out of the dark room through dysfunctional relationships, dysfunctional friendships, wine, overworking, overeating and pretending I just wasn’t there. Reaching for these things that I thought would help me find the light further cluttered and blocked my path and imprisoned me in fear and regret.

It has taken me a while but I have figured out how to find my way out of the dark when I find myself in that space.  Sometimes I find the light switch quicker than others but I always know it is there.  I have learned not to resist it and not to fight against it. I have learned not to panic but to be patient and let my eyes adjust to my surroundings….

 I now carry a small flashlight in my back pocket.  When the fear of not finding the main light sets in and is overwhelming I remind myself to fall back on that little beam of light to guide my path. I  allow myself permission to stumble and bump into things. I still get bruised a bit but when I shine my flashlight on those things blocking my path I steer away from them.  I always remember to walk toward the main switch. I realize now that when I  reach that switch and turn it on and look around, it isn’t so scary after all.

Sometimes the batteries in my little flashlight die or the nightlight goes dim and in those times I am no longer afraid to yell out of the darkness to people who love me and support me.  They come to me as if I am still a child sitting on the floor in fear, they turn on the light, grab my hand and together we emerge from the room….

If you find yourself in a dark room, be patient with yourself. Take time to let your eyes adjust and seek a clear path. Reach toward people and things that will help you emerge less bruised and battered. Don’t be afraid to ask for help….we all need help finding the lighted path during difficult times in our lives.

One thing that I can guarantee is that night will come into your life but it is nothing to fear. As the sun always sets so it rises…light will follow dark…remember to hold on…the darkness of night will pass…..

Keeping it real with Dr. Mary G.