Maybe Your Dreams Don't Come True Because of You?

Dreams…only in your sleep???

Are dreams things that only happen when you sleep?

I have been thinking a lot about dreams lately. What are my dreams….not the ones I have when I sleep…but my aspirations…my desires…what do I want most out of life?

This notion of dreams being unreachable…things you put on hold..things that keep you going but you never really get…I don’t accept that notion..I refuse to accept that notion…

The recent deaths and illness of several people that I know have caused me to think about the idea of dreams (aspirations, hopes…desires)

The thing I remember hearing from my father was that he was going to return to Pennsylvania where he grew up and visit his beloved brother and sisters……go the next year..go the next year…go the next year....he died before he could go….he was in his early 60’s..

My brother had dreams….he loved to play the guitar…wanted to play more of his guitar…play in a band and I am most certain dreamed of meeting Elvis Costello….whatever his dreams...he died in his early 40's...

A woman I worked with just died…49 years old…what were her dreams…did she follow them?

I hear so many of my friends’ say that they have “put their dreams on hold” or they will “do that someday".

What does that mean?

People say…”can’t do that…” “kids” “money” “husband” “wife”….”not the right time” “after the new year” “next year I will”…..excuses…. excuses…. excuses…

Based from fear mostly…

I have also said those things..…I have blamed others for my lack of fulfillment…used others as my excuse of why I haven’t gone forward…done the things I wanted to do…I have thought about waiting for the “right” time…been afraid of what people would think..afraid to fail…

Then I realized

Things in my life will never be in perfect order…I will never have enough money…I will always have responsibilities…there will never be a perfect or “right” time for me.... fear is an excuse.

Then I realized

I refuse to make excuses anymore…I am going for it…seize the moment…seize the day…. I don’t want to blame others for not fulfilling my life goals or desires. I don’t want to wait until I retire and drive to the view point and look at the mountain…

I want and will climb the mountain while I still can….

I am not suggesting you or I go crazy and act as if our time is up and become reckless and throw our responsibilities to the wind.

I am suggesting blaming others for not following our dreams and our lack of fulfillment is not the answer.  

I suggest we stop finding excuses for not really living.

I suggest we don’t let fear control us…we start small.... one step at a time....we start working our way up the mountain of our dreams…we find out what we want in life and we go for it!

What do you want out of your life? What are your dreams and desires?  

Take the first step…I am with you. 

Pretty soon we will summit the mountain…together!

Keeping it real with Dr. Mary G

Life is Good...Eeyore

Everything is “perfect” so why…….

Things in my life are the best they have ever been. I have two wonderful children, I am healthy and active. I have wonderful, supportive friends. I am in a relationship with a wonderful person; the type of relationship I didn’t know was possible. My career is going very well. I love my friends and I am getting  better at loving myself….so why have I been feeling blah the last few days…why am I feeling like Eeyore?

 Life continues to move forward…changing...developing..

Parenting and parental decision making is a process….maintaining a healthy and active life style takes hard work. Having healthy relationships means engaging in and maintaining those relationships……Keeping a career going.... takes energy….nothing comes easy and I don't think it should come "easy"...but... whatever we are engaged in should bring peace and contentment...

Things operating well in my life does not automatically bring me fulfillment.... examining where I am putting my time and energy and how that fits my sense of self...becoming grounded in what is important to me....that equals peace, contentment and fulfillment...

What I will be doing is prioritizing…rediscovering what has meaning for me and focusing on that...those things...those people...

As I make changes in these areas of my life I am also acknowledging how grateful I am to have everything running smoothly….I am HAPPY things are good.....  I realize things can be better….evolving…developing and changing…

I am going to re-evaluate all areas of my life in the upcoming months….I am going to reprioritize and eliminate things in my life that are distracting…take the simple approach…

Take a simple approach to life with me...…what are your priorities…are you feeling grounded, peaceful and content…if you feel like Eeyore...take a breath...slow down...look and listen...examine the areas of your life…even if they are running smooth it doesn’t mean that what you are doing is working for you…

Repriotize…re-evaluate…recreate…the time is now..come along...

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G

How do you measure the worth of a (wo) man?

How do you measure a person, a man or a woman? What kind of people do you have in your life?

It has been quite evident to me recently that many people measure others based on the external.  I have known this most of my life; remembering the stares I use to get as a child....when people looked me up and down....looked my parents up and down….when their eyes and demeanor told me that being poor meant I wasn’t good enough for them….

Some people feel the need to have new shiny things, brand named items…keep up the appearance….

Is it because they really want those things or is it because they believe if they have those things they will be accepted and seen as good…beautiful…successful…..

What does material things really prove about people… does it mean that those who don’t have those things or don’t value those things are less than…not good enough?

I am not saying that people who value material things are bad. I have friends and family that have brand new shiny houses, cars, and money….I love them and they love me…the difference is they are comfortable with who they are with or without their possessions…they value me for me and I value them for them..no discussion of material things or worth based on material things…they don’t criticize my mismatched, chipped dishes, my beat up ford, my 1200 square foot house….they accept me for who I am…

I  have friends and family who live in trailers, low-income housing, who receives public assistance….who struggle to make it through everyday… I feel exactly the same way about them that I do my friends and family who have money and material possessions. It isn't about stuff...it is about relationship..

As a society, we don’t often cross “classes”. We don’t often associate, really associate with people from different economic backgrounds. We often stay in our comfort zones. We may say we have friends from all walks of life…but do we…do you…why or why not…you can only answer that from within…

My answer is yes…I do…I have people in my home, in my life and in my family that represent wealth and poverty…those people are in my life not because of what they have or not have but because who they are as people. I measure the worth of a person based on internal qualities. I measure them based on the love they have for others, the acceptance they show for others, the understanding they have for humanity, and for their honesty.

I have no desire to keep up with the “Jones”. I don’t care “what people do” or “what they have”....I care about “who they are”. The next time you meet someone, instead of asking them “what do you do”....try asking them ....“who are you as a person”…..because to me what matters is the inside self…the internal qualities of a person…

How do you measure the worth of a person….who are you surrounding yourself with and why…

Someone very close to me reminded me of this:

”This above all: to thine ownself be true,
 And it must follow, as the night the day,
 Thou canst not then be false to any man.”                         -Shakespeare-Hamlet 

Are you true to thine ownself?

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G

Out with the old...wait not all of it...

What a relief to be rid of 2010....well maybe not all of it... I am not much for new year’s resolutions. I believe that if change needs to occur it can and should occur at anytime.... I am however glad to be rid of a lot of what happened in 2010. I am not sure how your year was but mine was full of extreme lows and extreme highs. I found and lost myself during this past year….let me review:

Marriage…. I ended a nineteen year relationship that was full of toxins and that I allowed to dim my light...dim my spirit...

I am taking my light back this year…not just a flicker. Full blown fire is about to erupt with me and I refuse to give it up again.

Grief…. I cried more in the 365 days of 2010 then I have in my entire 41 years. What I discovered….I had a lot to cry about and I don’t regret spending 2010 mourning. Mourning over the loss of self, relationships, bad choices, being lost, confused and crazy….cried over it all…over and over again. What I learned about myself is...I am not comfortable with grieving (or I wasn't) I wanted to rush through things…make it okay for myself..move on to fast…2010 taught me to experience pain, sit in it, not rush it....do what I need to do and then let it go…I realize I will grieve again but when that happens in 2011 I won’t fight it…it will be what it is and I know how to deal with it now…

Love…I finally learned to like myself for who I am…lots of self discovery happened it 2010 and I can tell you that I can now look in the mirror and like who I see looking back at me…from the inside and out……it was a painful process of self evaluation…

2011 is going to bring me lots more self care and self love because I deserve it…

Acceptance….what more can I say…I fought acceptance for most of my life…not anymore…I accept myself, I accept my situation, my friends and my family…..no expectations…

Independence…scared me some in 2010 but then I woke up and discovered it totally rocks….I am independent, capable and can’t wait to tackle what 2011 brings me…

I have so much optimism going into this year…joy and hope…realism….Life is what I make it…I am done fighting what comes my way, blaming myself...blaming others...and feeling sorry…I am in charge...I am the driver of my life...

I am committing to loving myself this year, forgiving myself, taking what was good from 2010 and leaving the rest behind…..no regrets...

What can you pull out of last year that was good…what did you learn from last year about yourself, relationships with others, your wants and your desires...…take it…build on it…leave the rest behind…don’t let the bad that happened last year infect your new year…Opportunity is here…don’t waste it...

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G.