Flip the Switch

The lights went out…

The last few days I have opened my eyes to the dark…the fall and winter returning…

A sense of dread in my heart and sadness…

I laid in bed the other morning and thought about pulling the covers over my head and not getting up….

I made myself get out of my bed…and turn on the light..

When the dark comes…which it always does…

Weather changes, relationship changes, life changes, deaths, sadness, disappointment…

What do you do…

What I do is find my light switch…I go back to basics immediately

I eat right, I exercise, I get enough sleep, I get out of my head and try and help others, I stay busy, I stay close to those I love…those that love me…

I avoid staying in bed too long with my head covered up..... I know the longer I stay in the dark…the worse I will feel…the darker it becomes…

As darkness approaches in your life…whether it be the change of season or a life event…

Find the switch quickly and turn it on….go back to basics…don’t forget what brings light in your life…

Let’s plow through the dark together…hand in hand…if I forget to flip the switch…remind me….as I will remind you my friends..

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G

Open the Damn Door

Locked Out

I got home tonight and discovered I was locked out.

My garage door was broken and all the doors to the house were locked….

You might ask…where is the key…well I had every key except the one to the screen door…the one that needed to be opened.

As I stood in the cold and wondered what to do…

A sense of calm came over me…

This was no big deal....it would all get worked out somehow…I would eventually get back into my house..the place I belonged...

What occurred to me when I was standing in the cold; locked out…was the many times I have been locked out in my life….

Locked out of the life that I wanted...

As if I was an observer not a participant in my life…I could see what I wanted...but I was so far away...out in the cold...

In the past when I was locked out of life I would fight…cry…get angry…be disappointed…be envious….blame others…

This never got me any closer to the “inside”.....where I wanted to be….

I finally got tired of being locked out of a life that I wanted...

I realized.... 

I was the only one on this planet that had the key to get in and that I was wasting my energy on blaming others…banging at the door…being angry…sad…disappointed…

I had the key to get myself to where I wanted to be…I just needed to use it...

It has been a journey but I think that I am ¾ of the way in…

A few things left to unlock and figure out but I am safe and comfortable and happy ….in the place I always dreamed of but could never get...

If you are banging on the door…locked out from the life you want or the person you want to be….

Stop…take a breath…cry if you need…be angry for a second if you need….then let it all go…make a plan..dig deep into your pocket…I know for a fact you have the key

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G.

Did you just end a relationship...How Many Cats do You Own???

Heartbreak

I have written about love…what I want in love…but not so much about heartbreak...

What does heartbreak mean?

My 11-year old son assures me that a person’s heart cannot break…that a heart is a muscle and that it is all in someone’s head..

Maybe it is in a person’s head…but anyone who has had that in their head knows that it is more complicated than what an 11 year old boy describes…it can be devastating on so many levels...

It can hinder a person’s ability to trust

It can make a person close off to other people

It can make a person cynical and bitter

It can make a person never want to engage in another relationship again…

It almost did that to me when I experienced it…

I felt cheated…taken advantage of…I feel taken off guard..confused…angry…hurt…sad…and I almost slipped into being a cynical...bitter woman...who wanted to run out and adopt 20 cats...

The problem is that I hate cats (no offense to those who love cats...just my allergies) and sitting in bitterness and resentment is not my style..

What I did was

Took time to grieve

Took time to heal

Forgave…Really Forgave

Let Go

Accepted

And Learned…

Heartbreak is a part of the risk of being in a relationship…it is an opportunity to learn what worked...what didn't work...who we were and who we want to be...…next time..

Nothing or no one is worth closing yourself off; becoming resentful, or checking out...

As my heartbreak chapter closes...I can share this..
 

If you are dealing with heartbreak…be nice to yourself...take time…love yourself…hang out with your friends…forgive the person…really forgive the person…after all they were probably not worth your valuable time if they hurt you so badly…..don’t close off…learn and grow for the next time….and for godness sake…

Don’t adopt over two cats in the process!

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G.

disclaimer…cat lovers is a metaphor ;)

 

"Blind but now I see..."

 

The end of this week seemed to be settling down….feeling back to my normal, optimistic and happy self…

Then my sweet little 11 year old son broke my window…

For the love of Jesus…no really..... I said that out-loud!!!

After a week of dealing with a colleagues unexpected death.....a $300 dollar wheel replacement...an ending of a friendship....and.....a cold…I was like…ENOUGH!!!

I actually got a little teary eyed and called one of my best friends...

I assured her I was going over the edge…she assured me I wasn’t…

I told her I couldn’t take one more thing…she told me I could…

I want to share with you what she said…

“Don’t be depressed....it is just one more thing.....but everyone is healthy and happy and people love you....what more could you want?"

Around that same time I picked up my daughter and her friend from the store…

My daughter’s friend came out carrying flowers for me; a bag of Doritos for me (my favorite) and lots of frosting for a cake they were going to bake…for us…

Around that same time I saw a homeless women sitting on the ground digging in her bag…maybe for food…

Around that same time....my sweet little 11-year old son threw his arms around me and said he was really sorry he broke the window…I knew he was..

Around that time…my eyes opened

I saw what was important, what was real, what I had in my life…

Around that time I felt like I could drive around the rest of my life with that broken old window...

Realizing what I had....

Open your eyes with me….see what is really important

It is all as it should be…Today

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G.