Waking Up and Realizing I am a Spoiled Brat

The gift of returning home

Most of you know I have traveled a lot in the last four years….been to Scotland, Ireland, Nicaragua three times, Guatemala, Bolivia, Slovenia and I am just returning home from Kenya

There is always an adjustment period when I return from any trip but especially returning from developing countries

This morning I was texting my friend from Kenya and I was going through the list of struggles I have had this week….

My tenure file is almost due and I am freaking out I might lose my job, misunderstanding at work, other work duties piling up, my ex, my sleep…..my weight

I had a moment of pure disgust when writing the text

Half way through the text I thought…”Mary you are an asshole”

I actually finished the text with me telling him I was an ass

For the obvious reasons ….but I will write them down just to give myself a good ass whooping

I am working on a tenure file…..that is right… I am an Assistant  Professor at an amazing, private university and I have a PhD…I have the privilege and opportunity to go up for tenure

A  miscommunication at work…how wonderful… it means I have a job to miscommunicate at

My Ex….no comment

My sleep….as I lay in my queen size bed with a memory foam mattress and a trillion threads of cotton sheets  and can’t sleep….WOW huge suffering

I need to lose 10 pounds…..YAY I have enough food to eat to be ten pounds overweight

My life is awesome, kids are great…I am loved

What moved me to start complaining like this upon my return?

It is the huge disbelief and feelings of being overwhelmed and helpless about the amount of suffering there is in this world

I was trying to find a way to rationalize that I have struggles too

LMAO

Okay we all struggle and yes there are things here that are not good…. violence, rape, abuse, child neglect

But honestly it is nothing like what happens in some places in the world

I feel back to my old (hey no comment) self this morning as I write this….

I don’t need to search for struggles of my own…to try and make sense of the suffering in the world…

What I need to do and will do

Is to never close my eyes and mind to what I know is happening in the world…what I must always do is remember the privileges I have being a citizen in a developed country.... and what I will always do is use that privilege to advocate for those who don’t have the opportunities…here and in the world…

How about we do that together

Love and Peace to You all Today

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G.