The approach of Valentines Day has gotten me thinking of LOVE!
What is love?
What does it mean when someone says "I love you"?
Love is a word.
I have said the word love to many people. I said it today to three or four people.
Saying "I love you" has little meaning to me anymore. I think people overuse the word.
A friend recently told me that a man she was in a relationship with would say to her “I am loving you”.
That makes total sense.
Loving someone is tangible.
I could go an entire lifetime without hearing “I love you” but I can’t go any time at all without people “loving” me.
How do I know that people are loving me?
People in my life are loving me through unconditional support and acceptance. Loving me means tolerating my insanity and my constant scheming, dreaming and reinventing. Loving me means encouraging my constant scheming, dreaming and reinventing. Loving me means not judging or criticizing me. Loving me means listening to me for understanding. Loving me means being honest with me when I need it. Loving me means holding my hand when I need it. Loving me means when I stumble and fall; helping me up. Loving me means helping me up and not saying I told you so; even though you knew I was going to fall. Loving me means never hurting me on purpose. Loving me means not being cruel. Loving me means never wanting to see me in pain. Loving me means accepting my imperfections. Loving me means treating me with respect.
I am blessed to have people in my life loving me right now. I am loving them in the same ways they are loving me. I show them my love.
The words I love you are just an added bonus.
I will not have close relationships with anyone in my life anymore that are not “loving me”.
If you are in close relationships with friends, partners and family members that are mean, hurtful, critical, judgmental, intolerant, oppressive, abusive, unsupportive, caustic and spiteful then it doesn’t matter if they say the words "I love you" 1000 times a day.....…they are not loving you. You deserve to have people in your life loving you. Saying "I love you" can be a hollow words....loving is a behavior. We all know the difference.
Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G
I'm loving you and your blog too!
ReplyDeleteLove is a verb...
ReplyDeleteLoving you, Dr. MG!
ReplyDeleteI disagree, the most loving people in our lives are the ones who are unafraid to tell us without sugar-coating when we are screwing up. Allowing us to continue down a path that is hurtful to ourselves and to others is not being loving. Being loving is an action and a fearless action that involves risk, if a person is willing to hurt us to remind us of our own fundamental capacity for error and wrongdoing, then they clearly are willing to risk losing whatever they get from us in order to help us be better. Wanting what is best for the other even at the cost of personal sacrifice. That's loving, love makes everyone better, sometimes we need another judging us to remind us that the one thing we humans do exceptionally well is get things wrong. Ask a good twelve-stepper about love, he/she'll tell you it's a sponsor who tells you when you're full of crap and need to get your act together before you hurt more people. That's love, in my experience.
ReplyDeleteI think that is what I said
ReplyDeleteWell I guess the "not judging or criticizing" part seems problematic to me.
ReplyDelete