Attractive.......Hot!

Are you attractive?

I just recently watched the documentary “The Secret” and was reminded of how negative and positive energy really works…

The basic premise is…The law of attraction…

I have been practicing this philosophy about 70 percent of the time over the past two years….it works...I am living proof..

But I do slip occasionally…

My new goal is to practice it 99.9 percent of the time…

Why..

Because what I have noticed is that when I do slip and I am negative, cranky, whinny, and obnoxious.... I get surrounded by those who are the same; situations that evoke more of those feelings….negativity breeds negativity…

For example, on a recent flight there was a gentleman that was angry. I don’t know why but he was scowling and slamming things around and just looked miserable…it was noticeable to the other passengers…

When he got up to go to the bathroom he hit his head on the tv projector in the isle…

Why…because negativity breeds negativity (and he was really tall)

My point is…pay attention to the days when you are throwing negative energy out to the universe and I guarantee you will notice that your day does not get better but gets worse…you wind up hitting your head on the tv in the isle…

I felt a little relapse of that today….

I wanted to shout out cuss words but what I did was I immediately shouted out to the universe thanks for all I had….took 5 minutes to write a gratitude list and took a deep breath…my whole day changed…my whole attitude changed…

If you want things to stop being negative…stop being negative…if you want things to be productive…start being productive…if you want people to appreciate you…appreciate them…if you want love…love..

It is all right there waiting for us…

It is not a secret....it is common sense

Keeping it real with Dr. Mary G

Stuff some peanut butter in it...and fall in love with life

I have been talking to a few people lately that are really hard to tolerate

Why…

Because they are so negative…about everything…..refuse to see anything good in their lives….they have no loves…complain...nothing is ever enough

Time with them and people like them are good reminders for me; helps me refocus on what I love and what makes me happy

Here I go..

I love waking up to a hot cup of coffee and a newspaper by my bed on a Sunday morning

I love the sound of birds and the smell of lilacs

I love eating peanut butter and jelly…one scoop at a time out of the jar

I love the sunshine

I love the feeling of having God in my heart

I love starbucks

I love walking in Nature

I love meeting new people

I love my gym

I love to workout

I love books…bookstores…book marks….book lovers

I love the food network

I love cupcakes

I love to dream and plan and create and dream some more…I love I am a dreamer

I love an adventure

I love you….and you…and you…even If you don’t want me to

Happiness for me is simple…I love life…everything about it…even during the times I struggle…

Everything can be a gift...you don't need a BMW or a Mansion to be happy...you don't need the most money on the block...

It is all about your perceptions of life...

The next time you feel negative and miserable…grab a jar of peanut butter….a jar of jelly and a spoon…one spoon at a time….and enjoy the simple joys life has to offer

Enjoy what you have and fall in love with it….I promise your life will be so much happier and much more serene

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G

Adios Amigos...Hasta Pronto!!!

As I embark on my latest adventure tomorrow (off to Nicaragua) I am reminded of all that I have and how grateful I am for all that I have….

Every time I prepare for one of these trips I am compelled to reach out to those I love and make sure I have closed all ties and told them how much I care about them….a very reactive way of being…

This time I did the same…as usual...emailed, called and text

As I was in the process of reaching out to those I love....I realized this time was different...

It wasn't necessary this time....I didn't need to come from a place of reaction or urgency

Why????

I have been very deliberate the last two years of my life in reaching out to those I love and making sure they know how much they mean to me…

I have some serious loss in my life….as we all have…and I have tried to use those experiences as daily reminders to not leave anything unsaid…not leave loose ends

My children know how much I love them….and I know how much they love me

My family

My friends

 

The person I love….the people I love…

All ends are tied…all ends were tied...

My relationship with my God is strong and those ends are tied…

I am not anticipating anything but joy on this trip….

But on the day before this trip I have discovered something very important about myself…

I have no “loose ends”.... no “I love you” missed.... no “you are important to me" to say.... and no unfinished business with my God…

Don’t tie up loose ends or express your feelings in a reactive or urgent way before a trip or big event….Do it now

So when that trip or big event happens or life and death take its course...….there is nothing left to say…

 

Tie up those loose ends today

Love you all and see you in a couple of weeks…

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G

Change is not the Enemy

Why don’t people change?

Changing

Change is difficult…I am not negating that at all

There are a few people in my life that are more miserable than not on a regular basis…

I know this because I can see it in the way they live or what they say…

I can see the pain in their eyes….the heartache…..the sadness…the longing for things to be different….

Why won’t they change?

I have some ideas around why people won’t change………..

People struggle with change because they are afraid…

People struggle with change because they are guilty…

People struggle with change because they are unwilling…

People Struggle with change because they get stuck in a cycle of self-punishment…

People struggle with change because they feel unworthy....

People have not experience the limit of their misery…

I have made some major changes in the last two years…..it required me to look inside of myself and really figure out who I was…what I wanted…what I was afraid of…what I felt guilty over…why I felt unworthy…why I was unwilling and why I was stuck in a cycle of self-punishment…

Hard Hard Work…Painful…Brutal…

The best thing that ever happened to me was getting knocked to my knees by life and having to pull myself up and take full responsibility for me….

To allow myself to push through the fear and guilt and unwillingness….

To allow myself to be helped by others...

To allow myself to be love by others…

Today…because of the changes I have made and allowed in my life…I am in the best shape emotionally, physically and spiritually then I ever have been before..

My relationships with others are real and healthy and loving

My job, my life and my bank account (could be better) but totally solid…

If you are at the cross roads and you feel like you can’t do anything about “it”……….you can…dig deep…find out what’s going on…ask for help…

Start the journey of change…one step at a time…

Life can get better if you let it…

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G

Dr. Mary Love

Love and Relationships

As the love month comes to an end I feel compelled to write on the topic

I purposely avoided it on Valentine’s Day 

 I find that to be one of the more ridiculous, commercialized and completely inappropriate holidays….

I may not believe in the concept of Valentine’s Day but I believe in Love and Healthy Relationships

I have been single on and off for the last two years

I have learned some very valuable lessons about love and relationships by experiencing the best and worst....

 

Here is what I have come up with over the past two years....

A relationship with another person does not need to be difficult; with the right person it can be more joy than pain, more happiness than sadness, more bright than dark

Desperately seeking love only ends in disaster

Love is in life....with or without a "partner"

It is so okay to be alone

Being alone does not make you unworthy, unlovable, or invaluable

Being with the wrong person is more lonely than being alone

Love is born from spirituality

The idea of being in ANY or wrong relationship “just so you have someone” is insane thinking

Fear and Love……….NOT the same……….shouldn’t be used in the same sentence……(afraid to be alone, afraid to grow old alone, afraid to be financial insecure….Oh my….think about this)

If you don’t love yourself, appreciate yourself……you will never be capable of being in the kind of relationship that you deserve……..one that is kind, compassionate, equal and awesome……you will always be chasing something that isn’t out there….something that is internal in you...

Love yourself…

Love your God....

Love your Friends and Neighbors...

Love your Family....

And you will never be alone……….

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary Amanda Love

Oh Poor Me....Look What I Sacrificed....

Sacrifice

What does that mean?

To me it means many things…

In no way do I mean sacrificing happiness, dignity, respect….

I don’t mean sacrifice and then complain about it…..that is being a martyr and really counterproductive…and tiresome

I am thinking about the sacrifice that happens out of love

Things we do…willingly….to make the lives of those we love easier... better, more full of joy…

We all sacrifice, rearrange, accommodate…..

Sometimes when people think of sacrifice they think of “going without”….

The thought of sacrifice sometimes makes people greedy and selfish…angry

Lately I have been thinking about the gains that are made in sacrifice….the gains I make...

I know we all have someone(s) in our lives that we would gladly sacrifice for….

I have several…

My kids, my mom, the man I love, my friends

Those people are easy to sacrifice things for…why…..because of love...If I have something they need (emotional or physical)  and it will make their lives brighter....then so be it..….makes me feel happy to “go without”

I don't even think about it...it doesn't feel like I am "going without"

But how about the sacrifice for others we don’t know; others we don’t love….strangers..

How does that work…

For me it works if I take time to think about the needs of others every single day….

To observe what is going on in my community…..what is around me…

To get out of my own head….out of my own stuff….focus on others…

There is nothing material in this world that cannot be replaced or that we can’t live without….

Take a second and try the whole sacrificing for others thing….you might find it highly rewarding…

What harm will it do to think of the needs of others…

Maybe starting tomorrow….”go without” something so someone might feel comfort…and love….

To me giving quietly and unconditionally feeds my soul….so really I reap the rewards...

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G

 

Sitting with Someone in Grief

There is no grief like the grief that does not speak-Longfellow

Grief comes in many forms….loss of perceived life, death, divorce, tragedy….

Grief is an emotional response to loss….

My heart has been heavy for a couple of weeks….lots of people I know have suffered loss, tragedy, sickness….

Grieving over people…things…relationships….loss…loss…loss…

It has made me think about how I have gotten through the tough times in my life…

Prior to a couple of years ago….I didn’t really “get through” them….didn’t know how to grieve

I use to suffer in pain and silence

I tried everything I could do to mask the pain and pretend it wasn’t there…

I use to be good at putting on a happy face….stuffing it down and then just forgetting about it…

I use to believe that if my life “looked” put together and good….then it was….

I use to think that given my education and training I should be above “falling apart” (I call that doctor’s stupidity)

If you are suffering, grieving and experiencing sadness…

             Be honest with yourself….

Be honest with your friends and support system….if you are suffering… tell someone about it…don’t hide, don’t be embarrassed and don’t be afraid…if those people shut the door on you then find someone else to lean on

Find a power greater than yourself to lean on....spirituality….what works for you…

Stay in the moment….no projecting back and no projecting forward….in this moment…

Cry Cry Cry Cry

Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh

Pray Pray Pray

             Eat healthy and sleep

             Talk Talk Talk

When my heart feels heavy and grief sets in…. I say it out loud….I call or text my friends (you know who you are) about it…. I am honest with people about it… I ask God to help me….I pray…I cry and I talk about it…I take care of my basic needs.  

I am not afraid to ask for help.

Grief is normal and we are human….

There is no easy fix....what I can do...what we can do... is sit with someone in grief...just be present...

There is no grief like the grief that does not speak-Longfellow

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G