Being in Love in Kenya

 

Yesterday I did a workshop for adolescent girls and boys. I had them write down anonymous questions they may have had about relationships

Some pretty intense topics came out of those cards.....

One of the most interesting question that the kids asked me several times was....

What is love?

I have, as most of you know, written about love…

This question from kids and my time in Kenya has made me stop and re-evaluate what I think love is…

Some relationships here contain violence and assault…relationships worldwide contain violence and assault

What is love?

Reminders of what Dr. Mary G thinks love is

Love is not violent or assaultive

Loving someone should be holding someone up…being a better person for them

Love allows you to be imperfect and forgiving

Love opens the door to communication, even if the topics are difficult

Love is seeing through physical appearance

Love is unconditional

Love is an amazing and deep emotion that is hard to explain in words

I believe the above all to be true for me but I have recently been challenged on my definition of love…

Being in a different culture I have observed that many individuals here and maybe world wide don't express love like I do..

They may not openly show affection or be verbally expressive (just an observation, clearly this is not everyone)

But what I have observed is women carrying their babies on their backs for hours

Women washing clothes for their families hours by hand in the river

Men working long hours to earn a few shillings to provide food

People trying to provide basic needs for their families

People aging before their time.....struggling to survive

Teachers providing their own money to get students medical help; teachers who do not even make a living wage

Is this not love as well?

Many of us take our basic needs being met for granted

I hope to remember that love goes way beyond public displays of affection and soft spoken words

I can’t change who I am; affectionate and expressive... but I can remember that love is shown in many different ways by many people and it is just as valuable and important as the "I love you" and the hugs and kisses

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary Graham