Babysitter No More

I was having dinner with a close friend and she used the phrase “babysitting someone’s happiness”.

The phrase struck me so much that I thought it was important to share my thoughts about what the phrase means to me.

As a kid, I hated babysitting.

Why did I hate it? 

 I had to pay constant attention to the kids, play what they wanted to play, tell them what they wanted to hear so they wouldn’t cry, eat what they wanted to eat, wipe their noses and their bottoms and hope that they gave good reports to their parents so that I would get my small amount of pay.

I didn’t babysit much as teenager…for those exact reasons.

So why do I babysit as an adult?

What I have discovered is that I have babysat a lot as an adult.  I have babysat people’s happiness.

People in my life; it is important to me for them to be happy….

So what have I done…

I have given constant attention to them… done what I thought they wanted to do, told them what they wanted to hear, appeased their needs, entertained them, bought them gifts..did my best song and dance...

Unbalanced on the side of trying to keep them happy...."babysitting their happiness"

At some point I felt in charge of their happiness…just like a babysitter.

I am here to tell you that I am done babysitting people’s happiness. I will only be responsible for my own happiness.

I will commit to be a loving person; kind, present and accepting. I will commit to providing people (family, friends, partners, and my children) unconditional respect, support and love.

What I will not do is take on the responsibility of making them happy.

 I will live my life being honest, caring and supportive in relationships but I will not fret over nor will I own another's misery.

If you are unhappy...do not blame others for that...do not look to others  to make you happy…that is false happiness and will not last.

If you are babysitting another person’s happiness….STOP! You are doing them, yourself and the relationship no good.

Babysitting another person’s happiness gives you nothing but stress, heartache, guilt, blame and shame…far less than the small amount we were paid when we babysat for a job.

Happiness is internal and not external and is an individual’s responsibility.

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G.