The Tight Rope of Selflessness and Selfishness

Selfless or Selfish?

My nature really is one of selflessness.

I give with or without being asked. I give unconditionally. I give out of love, respect, empathy and care.  The only problem is that somewhere along the line I started giving so much I felt empty. 

 I gave so much I forgot what I needed for myself. I convinced myself that I should not take care of myself and so I worked hard to put everyone else’s needs first.

I forgot how to ask for what I needed. I forgot how to say “NO”.  

I started to forget that I was important enough to ask for what I needed. I forgot that I could advocate for myself. I forgot that I didn’t have to feel guilty saying no or putting my needs first.

So I flipped the other way momentarily; just recently…

I neglected someone I love. I thought of my own emotional wellbeing above theirs. I upchucked my emotions without considering how it would impact them….

I took on a different role than I usually do…

I don’t believe there was irreversible damage in what happened but....I was an ass!

I apologized and self-reflected….what did I learn?

I learned that for me I would rather give than take and I learned that I can give and take in the same scenario...it doesn't have to be either or..

I learned that I can put on my oxygen mask first and then assist the person next to me with theirs...

In my life the extreme of either giving to much or taking too much doesn’t work…

I am learning how to walk the tight rope of caring for self and caring for others. Balancing my needs and the needs of others…realizing both can be done simultaneously.

I have not come up with the secret formula…when I do I will be sure to share it with you.

What is important to me…what I want…is to give more than I take…but I do believe that my needs are important…I am working on finding the balance without hurting myself or others…if I am suffocating I am of no use to anyone..

Find balance with me..

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G