What Will You Give This Season???

The holidays are upon us and there is so much stress on buying gifts and making sure they are wrapped perfectly…

Gifts of meaning are not given in fancy boxes with ribbons. They are given through understanding, compassion, love and presence. Those are the gifts that are remembered a lifetime...

I didn’t learn this lesson until I was older. It is unfortunate that many people never really learn this lesson.

This holiday season I have reflected on past gifts from loved ones lost. My father has been gone for twenty years and I have no memory of any material gift he ever bought me..what I do remember:

The many old time westerns we watched together as I curled up next to him on the couch….the times he let me ride shot gun on the tractor as he drove it out to the orchard… the old school boxing matches we watched together…the walks he would go on with me and patiently listen to me ramble non stop about everything I saw. The gift of seeing him love and cherish my mother; brushing her hair every single night. The endless stories he told me about riding the train in search of work and adventure for half of his life…

My brother has been gone for fourteen years and I have no memory of any material gift he ever bought me…what I do remember: 

The endless episodes of Dr. Who we watched together…the fried potatoes….the trip to the corner grocery store…watching WWF wrestling….the time he cared for me when I was sick…listened to me and understood me…

My wish is  that I would have realized how precious these gifts were during the time I received them…that lesson was learned to late to tell them thank you for all they gave to me..

What I did realize was...they were not looking for a “thank-you” or “gratitude”. My father and brother gave to me out of compassion, understanding and presences...from the love they had for me...

I don’t make the mistake of not realizing the gifts that are bestowed upon me now…the ear of a best friend when I am in pain, the compassion shown to me by others in time of crisis, the unconditional acceptance and care from an unanticipated relationship…..honesty…pure honesty…even if painful the respect given by being honest...a gift for sure...

I don’t make the mistake of not giving gifts of time, compassion, love and honesty. I don’t take for granted those who give these gifts to me. Sometimes the gifts aren’t clear but if you step back and reflect…it becomes crystal clear and you start to understand what it is to give and receive….

What are you giving this holiday season…big fancy plastic items....or time, compassion and honesty…what will your loved ones really remember...

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G