"Blind but now I see..."

 

The end of this week seemed to be settling down….feeling back to my normal, optimistic and happy self…

Then my sweet little 11 year old son broke my window…

For the love of Jesus…no really..... I said that out-loud!!!

After a week of dealing with a colleagues unexpected death.....a $300 dollar wheel replacement...an ending of a friendship....and.....a cold…I was like…ENOUGH!!!

I actually got a little teary eyed and called one of my best friends...

I assured her I was going over the edge…she assured me I wasn’t…

I told her I couldn’t take one more thing…she told me I could…

I want to share with you what she said…

“Don’t be depressed....it is just one more thing.....but everyone is healthy and happy and people love you....what more could you want?"

Around that same time I picked up my daughter and her friend from the store…

My daughter’s friend came out carrying flowers for me; a bag of Doritos for me (my favorite) and lots of frosting for a cake they were going to bake…for us…

Around that same time I saw a homeless women sitting on the ground digging in her bag…maybe for food…

Around that same time....my sweet little 11-year old son threw his arms around me and said he was really sorry he broke the window…I knew he was..

Around that time…my eyes opened

I saw what was important, what was real, what I had in my life…

Around that time I felt like I could drive around the rest of my life with that broken old window...

Realizing what I had....

Open your eyes with me….see what is really important

It is all as it should be…Today

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G.

Try again later........Maybe Never

My daughter’s seventh grade teacher died a few days ago. He was in his early forties I believe; a battle with cancer…

My colleague and boss died last night; she was in her early sixties…..not quite sure the cause

I hate reminders like this…they are painful

Reminders that make me stop and ask myself….

What do I stand for ?

What is my life about?

What is the unfinished business in my life?

Who haven’t I told I love?

What amends haven’t I made?

Is this it? What if today was it?

I work  hard  not  to put things off anymore…

I attempt to live each day to the fullest…

Yet sometimes I slip back into the rut…my old ways...

The daily grind…when I don’t feel connected; feel like I am operating on auto pilot…feel like it doesn’t really matter…like I don't have a purpose...

Those are the days when I think “tomorrow will be better” “I have another chance”……”try again later”

Most of the time tomorrow is better and I have gotten lots of other chances and  have tried again later...

But

I cannot depend on that type of thinking anymore…

Today is my chance…my reminder to stay connected…to tell people I love them…to not waste a moment…to live my life…to determine what I stand for and go for it…to find my purpose

Let's  not try again later...

Don’t put off living……try again now.........Don't wait until the chance is gone

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G

Falling in Love with You

I never tire of writing about love….and….readers it has been a while since I have broached the subject

Love is so complex and confusing

Love is simple and easy

What do you think of love?

I don’t mean the “you are super hot and I break out in a sweat thinking of you” kind of  love….

I mean the  love in which….no matter what happens….you will always love that person…even if they don’t love you in return

I have seen it once in a relationship….the love movies are made of…but only one time have I been witness to that kind of love….the love in fairy tales…a gift from my parents

I have felt it for someone

What it was for me.......

What I hope it might be again someday…………..

Accepting the person unconditionally; even through the flaws and defects

Wanting to share my thoughts and feelings; happiness and sadness

When something good happened….wanting to reach out to that person first

When something bad happened…wanting to reach out to that person first

Wanting their happiness; success; serenity

Willing to put the work in needed in relationships

Weathering the storm and dancing in the rain

Laughing

Wanting to be the best person I have ever been

So many things in my heart …..that won’t find words

I think the idea of love is different for everyone

To me there are common threads for us all…equality; respect; give and take; consideration; support; negotiation; trust; honesty and loyalty…..

I hope my heart will be open to the kind of love I described again....someday

In the meantime….while I figure out this “romantic” love thing….

I am overwhelmed by the love of my friends, spirituality, family and life

It is not my wish to find love today…..it is my wish to give love today

"The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned"

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G.

Now I lay me down to sleep....It isn't too late...

A nurse who worked with the dying recorded the top five regrets people had as they faced their inevitable death… ….I had read this before but lately I have really been thinking about my life and the understanding of the cycle of life.….here are my thoughts on the article…(link to article is shared at the end)

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

I know this is true for people….I hear this repeatedly from those I come in contact with…

I wish I could….
I wish I would have...

What holds people back from living a life that is true to them…to following their dreams, to being who they hope to be rather than who they are “expected to be

What is holding you back???

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

Work is not everything….work is a means to sustaining your life (food , shelter, transportation)

Work does not define a person; It doesn’t have to define you….you are more than a job…

Is work becoming the center of your world….are you working so hard that you have lost sight of what you value?

Is all my focus on working to get more……….stuff….

Are you missing the “real” stuff in life….in lieu of relationships, sunrises, walks with your children, time with people you love….

I enjoy my job but when I think of what I enjoy in life….work does not dominate my thoughts…

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Feelings are important!!!!!!!!!! Have them…embrace them and don’t fear them. Own them….

Sometimes they are not returned but what do you have to lose if you share them?

There is not one person in my life that I love that doesn’t know I love them….shared or not….

Take the risks…share your feelings…

If you are hurt…resolve it with people…if you need to say you are sorry…do it….if you love someone…tell them…

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Friends are so so important! Friends have saved my life. They loved me and laughed with me. They held me up when I couldn’t hold myself up.

 Lift up your head and look around…reach out to your friends…you don’t have to be without their love and support…

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier

I don’t understand why some people don’t want to be happy. I think that sometimes people are afraid to be happy because it won’t last….or believe that they don’t deserve to be happy or have had such rough times in their lives that happy is an uncomfortable place.

Don’t fight happiness…you deserve it

I deserve it

Today I know….At this moment…I know…

I have lived my life true to myself

 I know that I have a balance between work and life

I have loved and shared my feelings....I have loved and spent some wonderful time with my children...been the best parent I could be...

 I have been in touch and spent some wonderful time with friends...

I am happy…happier than I have been ever…

Can you say the same??

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying

 

The End is near.......READY or NOT

The End is Near….Are you Ready?

The end of summer has me thinking of ends in general

Endings can be tough….I have experienced many endings in my life…some good and some painful…

The end of life

The end of childhood

The end of relationships

The end of my own children’s childhood

The end of careers

The end of vacations

The end of school

Some of these endings have proven to be new beginnings for me…some have been neutral and some have knocked me to my knees and have broken my heart

Some of these endings have been a blessing

The end of relationships that I have outgrown…it happens…

The end of jobs that I have felt unfulfilled in

The end of college

The end of financial crisis

Happy Endings….Neutral Endings or Painful Endings…

Why does it have to be one or the other…..

Celebrate the happy…accept the neutral…..embrace and learn from the painful ones

I am a stronger and better person with every ending I have experienced….even if I didin't recognize it immediately

The fact is that every ending if you look at it for what it is….can contain joy, can contain neutrality and can contain pain

It is what you do in the end that matters….unlike the song lyric “in the end it doesn’t really matter”

Well it does to me

I have not always shown dignity and grace in certain “ending situations” I am not perfect

It took a while…but with my latest ending I can step back and see it for what it was….what it is….and experience both the joy and pain of it…and close the door on it

Life is about beginnings and endings…

Face them with love, dignity, self-respect, acceptance and letting go

See them for what they are

A chance for growth, reflection and life experience

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G

 

 

 

Make Excuses or Make it Happen...It is all on YOU

He is Able Who Thinks He is Able-Buddha

So what is the deal with can’t….

I can’t do this and I can’t do that…

Excuses????

I have heard many can’t statements in my life….I have used many cant statements in my life...

Some of the common can’t statements  I have heard

I can’t commit

I can’t forgive

I can’t stop smoking

I can’t lose weight

I can’t find happiness

I can’t be the person you want me to be

I can’t finish my work

I can’t find time for myself

I can’t find purpose and meaning

On and On and On....

So seriously ….my question is what does the word can’t do for a person?

For a long time the word can’t was a defense for me….it protected me from taking any personal responsibility for myself, my life, my dreams, my goals, my health…my relationships

It gave me many excuses to place responsibility on everyone else but myself

Can’t implies the lack of actual ability to physically or mentally do something…

There are things that people are not capable of doing; there are things I am not capable of doing...those are not the things I am talking about..

I am talking about the things you and I say...day after day....things in our control that we can do something about but we WON'T....

We just complain and blame instead

That is not helpful

Do you know what I can’t do

I can’t control people, places, things or situations

But I can control myself

Things important to me can be done...

I might need to modify my expectations, I might need to rearrange, I might need to change plans..... but I have choices to make…I have the responsibility to myself and have nobody else in the world to blame if things don’t work out….but me…

I would rather live life with hope, dreams and potential then waking every morning and filling full of can’ts…

Today the word can’t leaves my vocabulary

Throw it away with me…

Do it, don’t do it, choose it or don’t choose it ….but if it applies to you, your well-being and happiness...... can’t isn’t even an option….

You don’t know unless you give it a go

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G

Wanna Know a Secret??????????????

For a long time I thought that I had to give everything to everyone...

That was how I would show love and be loved...

I don’t feel that way anymore. ..that isn’t what I believe love is today

What I practice today looks different from what I practiced in my past….I confused brotherly love and quite frankly intimate love with co-dependency….not healthy for me and not healthy for you….

Today I understand love in a way I have never understood it before. I understand romantic love, brotherly love, family love and the love I have for my spiritual guider  and most importantly….love for myself. ..

I was blessed to face a crisis a year ago that helped me understand this kind of love…

People loved me so much they let me go…

People loved me so much they wouldn’t let me go…

People loved me so much they let me be insane…

People loved me so much they drug me from the insanity and showed me the light…

People loved me until I could love myself….that is for real

People loved me so much they were honest with me

People loved me so much they taught me to be honest with myself

Today and every day I wake up and I say out loud “how can I come from a place of love today”

I feel like I have the obligation and responsibility to operate from a place of love…not for recognition, rewards or to get something back…

For myself….

I am not perfect but what I do is work to……..

Accept people and love them unconditionally

I love myself enough today that I say no to people….I don’t strip myself spiritually or emotionally because of another…

I have clear and healthy boundaries and loving myself and others sometimes means sticking close to those boundaries

I answer the phone if it rings, I meet people if they want to meet and I listen…I accept people for who they are…

The most important thing I have learned this year and try to practice every day, although not perfect….is coming from a place of love and helpfulness and acceptance of fellow humans without expectations of anything in return…

What I think the secret to serenity and happiness is……

Love with a pure and honest heart, give and receive, listen and talk, help and ask for help, and in the end and most important….don’t expect anyting in return……

Don’t be afraid to try and live like this…don’t be afraid to love and help others…don’t be afraid to love and help yourself

Your life will change for the better…..if you practice this simple philosophy….I did and mine did…

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G.