Love...Nothing to Do With It

Love has nothing to do with it…

Recently someone told me they ended a relationship with their partner and I told them I was sorry because I knew they loved that person….

They replied….Love has nothing to do with it…

I totally understood what they were saying

In the name of love people excuse poor behavior, stay in dysfunctional relationships and accept treatment that is unacceptable

You don’t have to be disrespected, devalued, taken advantaged of or used in the name of love…

Love doesn’t allow someone to talk rudely to you, to ignore your needs, to take from you, or to be selfish…

You don’t have to ride the crazy train because you love someone

Most of the time we are allowing ourselves to be treated badly by people we love that we are related to (family, our kids, etc.) or people that we have intimate relationships with….

How about considering creating some boundaries with people you love….not allowing them to tear you down or treat you poorly…

How about not losing yourself in the interest of your partner or family member

How about not thinking of yourself as not being good enough for any other scenario so tolerating what you have

How about not making the relationship more important than you are to yourself

Love has nothing to do with it…

Codependency Does

Look it up....you might be surprised at what you find out about yourself

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G

My Shattered Life: A Mosaic

Those of you who know me know that I have had some tough times….grew up hard…experienced tragedy...lost people I loved...

Two years ago the damn of build-up hurt, loss and rejection burst….…41 years of it came gushing through…

I  was spiritually bankrupt….at the bottom…I was lost

At that time most people didn’t know that about me

I was pretty good at keeping "my" stuff bottled up and putting on a happy face…..

Two years ago I couldn’t mask the pain by smiling or telling jokes anymore...I broke…I shattered….I was a pile of broken glass…..shards on the ground

I stood  at the crossroads

Life was going to improve or it wasn’t…there wasn’t going to be an in-between…I was going to gather those piece of glass and create a mosaic or I was going to get ground into the earth and stay shattered and broken…unable to repair

I chose the mosaic

The idea of a mosaic sounds lovely………..but its creation was not without pain

With that pain though, came liberation, empowerment and freedom....with that pain came true joy 
 
It was well worth the work

Because of our humanity any of us can get in a position where the glass breaks….whether it is pressure from small or large life events or a lifetime of build-up pains….

None of us are above this

If the glass shatters....It doesn’t have to destroy you…define you or imprison you….

It can be a chance to recreate you…

My mosaic today is made up of the old and the new….

It has God
It has love
It has acceptance
It has truth
It has beauty
It has the reflections of an amazing life
It has the promise of an amazing life

If I wouldn’t have shattered I may not have known true happiness, joy and serenity….

I may never have known God

I realize that pieces of my mosaic will chip off, change and become recreated as life takes its toll…. but I know how to pick those pieces up…and recreate something more beautiful, more durable and stronger…

Spiritual bankruptcy is unknown to me today

I have a bank full of awesome

Pick up the pieces and create your mosaic…it is never too late

Keeping it Real with Dr. Mary G.

 

 

 

 

Breaking the Bonds of Regret

Regret is a natural human feeling

A lot of people have written, sang, cried, gotten angry, blamed others and had breakdowns and break-ups over regret….

Regret is a powerful thing in our lives

Regret holds us prisoner, ties us down, entraps us, and beats us up…

It pushes us to act from places of guilt, fear and shame

It pushes us to drown it with food, booze, drugs, relationships, material goods….anything we get our hands on to help us lighten the weight of it…

A powerful emotion in our lives if we let it be

A life without regrets....Possible?

Yes and No

Regrets are made up of past things…things we wished we would not have done or wished we would have done…things that have already happened…things we let go or missed out on…

As humans we make mistakes and with those mistakes come regrets….

However, it Is possible to understand the nature of regrets and limit their impact on our lives

The cycle of beating yourself up with regrets is not the answer

Talking about them non-stop is not the answer

The answer is understanding  the nature of your regrets, learning from them, forgiving and letting go…and not creating new ones along the way…

This might mean you have to make some changes….might have to face some fears….might have to do things a little differently

I can say my life is less and less filled with regrets and more and more filled with contentment, happiness and satisfaction

It is nearly impossible for us to be full of regrets and full of contentment at the same time

Life is really too short….to let regrets hold you prisoner…put them behind bars where they belong

Take a chance on being contented, happy and satisfied….so much better to be free

Keeping it real with Dr. Mary G.